Sunday, May 24, 2009

Life in Motion


Life is in motion, it never stops, at times we feel like the world slows down and we catch a glimpse of the world in slow motion.  The world keeps turning, millions of people continue in their lives, everything changes.
Michael was always in motion, he was always doing something.  I was never able to keep up with him.  My world and his world were spinning at different speeds.  Many times they synched up, and we were never far apart.
When Michael died my world stopped, I was in shock.  I didn't know what to do.  I don't know how to cope.  I guess I keep thinking that he is gone, that he will be back someday.  In a sense I guess that is true.  The world is turning and I have trouble focusing.  Everythings is in motion and this place is emptier for me and Jenn without him.  My world is spinning out of control on several different axes. 
You can't hang on to those you love, you can't keep them forever.  They change - you change, you can only hold on to the memories and build new experiences and memories.  There is no stop motion where you can reposition or move back the pieces.  I have always looked in the past, then I met Michael and Jenn and I began looking foward in the future.  I don't think I spent enough time in the present.  I do have the memories, but feel cheated because I can no longer look forward to the future and see the three of us.

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